The Story Behind the Cover
Adoption stories don’t stop at the reunion with violins playing as if that were the end of the movie. Many reunions are idyllic, and others are rocky from the get-go. But I have found God to be more interested in the developing relationships within my adoption triad than some of the members are.
For example, it’s painful for my daughter’s adoptive mom to even see me 12 years after the reunion. But recently she has moved to my town, and I often bump into her at the mall. I wonder if the Lord is gently nudging us together. Nothing could make me happier. But not that long ago the Lord did something that took my breath away—something to deepen the bond between my birthdaughter and me.
I have to go back 12 years though, to just after our adoption reunion. Seeing that beautiful and fully grown girl brought back the full pain of relinquishing her as a baby. No amount of rational thought on my part could take the emotional pain away. Only God could, and did. As time went by He encouraged me to share the healing that He had given me with others in a fictional format.
Ten years later, this coming May 2011—after writing 3 complete manuscripts—my debut novel about the British Raj in India will be released. That plot has nothing to do with adoption (at least not much). But God had something special in mind for me.
My publisher for SHADOWED IN SILK is WhiteFire. Some would say there are disadvantages to putting your work into the hands of a small and fairly new publishing house. But the Holy Spirit who said to me 32 years ago—trust your child into my hands—is the same Spirit who said to me—trust me with the labor of your heart.
As WhiteFire and I discussed the design of Shadowed’s cover, I suggested the model wear the sari material I had purchased in India. WhiteFire then sent me photographs of the model they felt could fill the role of my character, Abby. When I looked at the pictures I fell in love with the face, until it dawned on me that the model resembled my birthdaughter, Sarah.
On a whim I suggested Sarah for the model and WhiteFire agreed. Sarah was shy at first, but she pitched in on this step of faith, even though she would have to come 300 miles to participate in the photo shoot.
WhiteFire wanted 2 costumes—a western one for 1919 and the sari that my character Abby wears in the novel. A friend loaned me a straw boater hat, and I was sure I had a tan linen skirt up in my closet. But when I went to look . . . it was gone. I’d forgotten that when we moved last year, I’d given the skirt away to a charity. On another whim I drove to the local second hand store to search for something similar.
As I walked across the parking lot I prayed the Lord would help me find the perfect skirt. I was not 5 minutes in the store when I found my very own skirt which I then purchased back for $9.99.
I could go on and on about the details—there is so much more to tell. I had asked the Lord to put His fingerprints all over the cover, and He did.
It wasn’t until later that I realized—that without my ever planning or imagining it—He had not only inspired me to write through the loss of my first child to adoption, but He then blessed the fruition of that faith with the beauty of the very child I had relinquished to Him.
Only our Heavenly Father can do something so intricately tender. He cares for our broken hearts, especially if that adoption didn’t bring the joy that was hoped for at the beginning. Or your reunion wasn’t all you’d prayed for. Or you’re still searching for that lost one. Or worse, that loved one rejected you. Hold on to the Father. He holds your deepest desire in His hands.
The verse I’ve taken for my life is Isaiah 49: 15, 16: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands…”
If you’d like to read more about my journey as a birthmother, drop by my blog. You can also read more about the journey of Book 1 of my Twilight of the British Raj series—SHADOWED IN SILK.
She was invisible to those who should have loved her.
After the Great War, Abby Fraser returns to India with her small son, where her husband is stationed with the British army. She has longed to go home to the land of glittering palaces and veiled women . . . but Nick has become a cruel stranger. It will take more than her American pluck to survive.
Major Geoff Richards, broken over the loss of so many of his men in the trenches of France, returns to his cavalry post in Amritsar. But his faith does little to help him understand the ruthlessness of his British peers toward the India people he loves. Nor does it explain how he is to protect Abby Fraser and her child from the husband who mistreats them.
Amid political unrest, inhospitable deserts, and Russian spies, tensions rise in India as the people cry for the freedom espoused by Gandhi. Caught between their own ideals and duty, Geoff and Abby stumble into sinister secrets . . . secrets that will thrust them out of the shadows and straight into the fire of revolution.
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